How Much Is The Money?
How much is the money? : a phrase you should never utter to someone who gives you value or renders you a service.
When you live in a country where the presidential candidate ( the most likely to win by fraud) subtly threatens to put everyone on a strict cassava and Agbado diet, you spend every waking moment hustling to escape before it begins to rain Agbado. Every kobo counts, and can not be taken for granted.
How much is the money?
Almost every Nigerian has heard this phrase tossed about carelessly, either by a reckless customer or most likely by a broke-ass individual attempting to dodge payment for someone else’s service by boasting. In most cases, they get away with it, but on occasion, if the boaster is unfortunate enough to meet a werey (a Yoruba term for a nutcase) in the flesh, they will be mercilessly dragged through the mud, their clothes in tatters, an eye swollen shut, and a tooth or two strewn across the road. Sometimes.
Now, if you are a “how much is the money?” person, pay attention to the words you are about to read: “Did you bring me from Costa Rica?” Don’t look away. I’m pointing my pen at you. If you had so much money, why not pay and save us all the hassle? You must repent of this nasty attitude this year.
For the rest of us hardworking creatives out there, here’s how to spot and avoid “how much is the money?” individuals:
They dilly-dally when negotiating costs:
When a client says, “Don’t worry about the cost, just get the job done." I’ll take care of you,” know that these words are lies from the deepest, bottomless pit of hell. My advice? Insist on clarifying the cost and make sure you collect a 70% upfront payment before starting the job.
They are sweet-talkers and big dreamers:
I get it; the client has sweet-talked you into seeing the promise. This is the project of your dreams with the client of your dreams. But dreams don’t pay the bills around here. Dreams can’t even buy a roasted corn. If a client puts the dream before the cost of your service, then you know it’s going to be tough to get your money. Don’t take the job.
Now, this may sound cruel, but business is business. You’ve put time and effort into honing your craft. Don’t let anyone call you “too money-minded” or make you feel guilty for charging upfront for your services. So when a client starts selling you dreams and refuses to acknowledge your rate card or charges, save yourself the hassle and block their number.
They call you at odd hours and try to sneak in add-ons (more work for free) :
First of all, never pick up the phone. Some of these so-called clients call you at midnight, hoping you’re brain-dead, so they can slyly renegotiate and change the project’s dynamics. Others do this because they’re paying, which means you’ve leased your life to them. They act like frustrated landlords who will boast about ownership but cut corners when it’s time to do minor repairs. Avoid these individuals with passion.
So you’ve tried all these and still find yourself at the end of the line, listening to a ye-ye somebody screaming, “How much is the money?” while the sound of their saliva splashes on the phone from their dirty mouth. You have two choices: let it go or drag them by their teeth. Your mind is telling you, “Chioma, let it go." God will judge them.” Well, I hate to break it to you, but God won’t come down and help you get your money. That’s why he created Twitter and social media in general. Drag them by their teeth.
In conclusion, as a hardworking creative, you deserve to be paid for your services without being belittled or taken advantage of. So, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and demand what you’re owed. And if someone asks you, “How much is the money?” with a snarky tone, remember to respond with confidence and assertiveness. After all, you are a skilled professional, not a charity.
So, let’s say goodbye to the “How much is the money?” mentality and embrace a culture of respect and fairness. It’s time to put an end to the exploitation of creatives and uphold the value of their contributions to society. Let’s make sure that our voices are heard and our rights are protected.
Shalom
